


All The Stars In Texas

by excavatorsCommiseration (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Emotional Baggage, F/M, Fluff, Lime, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 16:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15645051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/excavatorsCommiseration
Summary: Humanstuck AU in which Betty Crocker has taken over the entirety of the world with a more hidden, passive viewpoint.A gang of rebellious once-beta-kids kidnap a rather crabby camper, and shenanigans ensue.





	1. Rotten Town

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you planned to run away the day you were kidnapped.  
Your eighteenth was much anticipated by your father, so much so that he showed you the files that marked your assessment.  
What kind of female was to be delivered, packaged neatly and sweetly.  
It showed exactly how she would look, exactly how she would act, and exactly what kind of reproductive product you'd one day come to create.  
By necessity.  
By law.  
Both you and your father knew where lack of compliance would get both you and him.  
Even despite his apparent, genuine excitement to watch the mold he tried so hard to correct, to *perfect*, his panic was just as evident.  
At least, to you.  
At work, he was showered in congratulations.  
What an adorable boy you've raised! They'd cheer.  
He'll need a girl made of iron to properly fix him, they'd say with their eyes.  
At exactly 9:00 pm, they'd be here.  
They'd take you.  
If you refused?  
They'd probably make an even bigger mess of you than they did your brother.  
You didn't know what to do-  
Panic swelled in your head, leaving you almost begging for nine to arrive so you could just get it over with.  
So they could take you away from your father, and pair you up with someone you already hated just reading about, and one day you'd create a genetic slurry of flesh and cells, that you'd one day raise.  
And then you'd die, and the cycle would continue.  
Something about this- it repulsed you. It felt so wrong, so incorrect.  
Love wasn't supposed to be treated like some chemical reaction that you can force, or some means to an end.  
You hated children. You'd always fantasized since your days as a wriggler of falling in love.  
Like Adam Sandler or Will Smith, and all your other heroes from all your other respective, probably shit movies.  
They were banned a long time ago, but you still had them all memorized.  
It was disgusting, and sappy, and weak. You knew having aspirations like that, aspirations like him,  
It's just begging for a culling.  
So you did what any sensible, worked up young boy would do  
You ran.  
Or at least, you planned to.  
But when 7:00 rolled around, there was a loud bang on the door.  
Early. That was the first thought that entered your mind.  
They were early.  
You were upstairs, still packing your bags, but instantly shoved it aside in favor of rushing downstairs.  
As usual, the adults weren't scheduled home until 8:30, and since curfew for those unmatched was 8:00, that’s who it was, right?  
However, when you opened the door, the face you were met with was not that of an imperial guard.  
Instead you only saw the slightly tanned face of a boy about your age, his scraggly un-brushed blonde hair dipping under the protection of the douchey-est sunglasses you'd ever seen in your fucking life.  
He looked you over, the intensity of someone else looking at you like that making you all the more uncomfortable and unamused,  
"Who the fuck are you?.." You spat at him, your lip turning up.  
A small, barely-visible smile (smirk is more like it) twitched onto his face, and he simply replied with a small snrk.  
And with that, you felt your body slammed to the ground, a needle pinching not-so-softly into your neck.  
Suddenly, despite your weak attempts at screaming or cursing him out, you found yourself drifting off.  
From behind, you heard the vague sound of a females voice,  
"Dave! God, did you have to be so rough with him? Rose isn't gonna like it if we get him back injured." Her voice was filled with endearment, and slight hints of disappointment.  
You watched 'Dave' shrug atop you, the last vision you were able to decipher being the quick footsteps of, you'd assume, whoever that lady was.  
This is it, you think,  
Your gonna die.  
And then, your vision fades to black, and by some miracle you don't.


	2. Ran

Maybe you'd've been able to fight harder if your entire body hadn't felt like an unresponsive brick beneath you.  
It wasn't a familiar sort of unresponsiveness, not the kind you felt in your heart or head.  
You felt it in your bones. It was a heaviness.  
A weight that only lessened when you moved, but seemingly also stopped you moving.  
You felt like you were was using the limbs of a body that had no intention of waking up, but somehow was still forced to all the same.  
It took what might be viewed as an obscene amount of time for your mind to peice together what was happening, even despite your slits of eyes watching the world fly past.  
Your skin felt so numb- you barely registered the wind pushing agaisnt your hair, drying all sweat produced by the unbearable texas heat.  
But when your mind actually took the effort to put two and two together-  
Connecting memories and faces, times and places  
-you lost your shit.  
Okay, well, you tried to.  
It was more like a baby weakly attempting to throw it's diaper, to which it just barely availed.  
Your arms, which were wrapped loosely around some lanky ball of warmth you could only assume to be your captor, began moving up and down in a pathetic attempt to punch the guys lap.  
"Woah. Hey Jade," You hear him say, clearly surprised by your movement despite his attempts to hide it,  
"We got a crabby customer awake."  
You made the most aggressive mumbling sounds you possibly could, raising your head from the guys back and banging it into him again.  
He does his best to stop from propelling forward, ultimately failing as his body squished against whoever was driving this- this-  
....  
What the fuck is this thing anyways? Is this a motorcycle? Can that even fit three people?  
You aren't given much time to ponder this train of thought, because a feminine (slightly annoyed) grunt comes from ahead as you feel the vehicle pulling over.  
Yes, this is your chance!  
Idiots,  
They'll never see your escape coming! You'll be like a goddamn escape artist, just wait!  
As soon as you catch the sound of a motor dying you fling yourself off the seat, dropping to the dry ground below.  
Grass pricks at every point of your skin exposed, the intense barely-blue sky above forcing your eyes to squint once more.  
It wasn't like you weren't used to the feeling of grass, but each and every lawn ring in your neighborhood was catered to absolute perfection.  
Something about the reminder that you were no longer home made you cringe, your feet kicking at Jade as she crouched next to you.  
Her green eyes shone brilliantly, an expression of heavy thinking on her face.  
Eventually she stood, her dark hair whipping with her as she turned to face Dave,  
"Look at what you did to him!..." She motioned to you, and you rasped, immediately driven to say you can handle it even though she is also the villain,  
"It's one thing to straddle him, but you didn't even give him with the right stuff!..." She looked frustrated with the boy, crossing her arms as she once again rose to her feet,  
"This is why Rose always makes John and Jake do this kind of thing! We suck at it."  
Dave didn't really look concerned, approaching her with an aversion of the eyes,  
"What is she gonna do? Sick her cat on us?..."  
The mention of a cat seemed to tear her between growling and laughing, and she seemed to decide upon the latter because a small giggle escaped her lips,  
"You know they'll pair us up with other people now, right? Of all the things he was supposed to do, waking up is very high on the no-no list."  
Daves mouth opened to respond, closing for a moment as if to reconsider,  
"I'll tell her not to."  
Jade looked a bit crestfallen for some reason, before shaking her head with a sigh,  
"We need to-"  
Loudly as you can manage at the moment, you clear your throat, the loud noise making them both face you,  
"Right." They said unanimously, Jade saying it with a striking determination and Dave saying it with a slight tinge of annoyance.  
Fuck both of them, if they were gonna kill you they'd better hurry up.  
Jade crouched once again down to you, slipping one arm under your neck and using the other to pull you up,  
"Start up the Harley!..." She shouted to Dave despite her closeness, receiving a snide look in return,  
"Start up the Harley, please?..."  
He did as told, the bike coming to life.  
Coming to life for a moment, you mean.  
After that moment was over, however, it just blasted back into useless inactivity.  
Dave frowned, Jade kicking the bike with her free foot (you were leaning on one, like a useless little bitch).  
"What-" You coughed wildly mid-sentence,  
"What the fuck do you want me for?..."  
Jades frown morphed into something only slightly viable as a smile, and she looked over to Dave in expectancy,  
"Nothing but to save you!..." Jade hummed, Dave following up with:  
"Your personal knights in shining armor."


	3. Too Tired to Wink

Whether or not the weather was intentionally working against them is debatable, but it must've seemed that way to Karkat, because as soon as the cold feeling of water hit his forehead he theatrically struggled out of Jades arms and began walking on his own.   
He knew he want strong enough to fight them both just yet, but dear god did he intend to as soon as he was able.   
Dave didn't really look like he minded the walking, and while Jade looked slightly disappointed at the loss of her bike she didn't seem to care either.   
Karkat, on the other hand, couldn't walk for shit.   
Not even mentioning the still lingering of effects of whatever it was they gave to him, he was never really forced to be physically exhilarated.   
Dave must have noticed this, too, because occasionally he'd shoot a glance in the direction of the heaving, brooding boy.   
The world was engulfed in a twilight shadow, the still harshly falling rain making it a million times harder for Karkat to go on.   
Eventually, when the short boy looked like he might actually collapse, Dave spoke up with the cock of an eyebrow,   
"You okay, dude?..."   
Karkat, who had taken to clutching his chest in an attempt to stabilize himself, inadvertently began leaning against the half-asleep Jade,   
"No, you fucking disgrace to the imperial condensation herself." He coughed again, his lungs burning like fire in his chest,   
"Do I look okay?..."   
He really didn't.   
Jade, dazedly, attempted to pick him up again, muttering something unintelligible.   
Dave frowned, Karkat kicking wildly and basically making her drop him on his ass.   
Casting a gaze on the small pamphlet in his hand, Dave offered his free arm to Karkat, both him and Jade holding him under his arms as they continued on.   
"How much longer do we have again, Dave?..." Jade asked her partner, yawning shortly.   
Daves brow furrowed, focusing on the 'map',   
"About a mile," Dave paused, "I think."   
Jade exhaled sharply, about to respond.   
Unfortunately, Karkat beat her to it,   
"Do you even know how to read a map??..."   
Dave shrugged, basically dragging the two along,   
"Sorta."   
That usually wouldn't have been good enough for him, but exhaustion in this case seemed to overpower spite.   
They walked for what felt like hours, a few houses and gas stations coming into view.   
At some point Jade tripped and fell, Karkat loudly suggesting they just die behind a gas station instead of going wherever the fuck they were going.   
Dave just told them they were both painful to watch, and continued on.   
After another thirty minutes or so Jade was left carrying Karkat again, barely able to walk without leaning on Dave.   
Dave muttered something about how pathetic this was, but still allowed it.   
It took hours to reach the hotel.   
When they finally did the receptionist was hesitant to even let them stay, but when Dave told some dramatic story about how their retarded brother had to walk for hours without any place to stay, she sort of had to.   
Jade tucked Karkat into the uncomfortable, springy bed, sleeping on the floor.   
Dave just crashed on the chair in the corner, which was arguably more dirty and uncomfortable than the floor, but then again so was Dave himself.   
And for the second time, Karkat drifted into an unrestful sleep, his kidnappers following suit.  
In the morning, he'd escape here.  
Escape them, and escape Her.   
He'd find somewhere to be free and in solitude.  
He was sure of it.


End file.
